log / Usman Malik

Me and my father have a very interesting relationship. He was always very demanding of me and I was always very headstrong. If you want me to do things, I wished to be sat down with and explained stuff before I decide if I really want to do it. Something which I would say my father took a very long time to learn and I let’s say took a very long time to understand that it is not always possible (ok we established a middle ground with help of my mother).

In my father’s recent words I was ‘a child he and my mother played with even in their imagination’, me being the first born - it has really taken me over two decades to somewhat understand him and above all his expectations. I have a feeling that I will learn rest of the secret when I become a father myself (if I do).

Back to my father at the moment. What not many people understand and unfortunately not many “philosophers” and “social commentators” say, not only my father has seen me grow up but I have been a witness to my father’s evolution as a person for last these many years of my existence. And in this, such a wonderful phenomena, which so many people overlook; I have found immense respect for my first friend, teacher, mentor and an ever present feeling of comfort.

Last year when someone trashed my car (it had to be written off) in Glasgow, even knowing that my father is in Pakistan and can do nothing about it, and of course I didn’t want to get him worried - I for some weird reason just wanted to talk to him and just ask me how I am doing? I called up, didn’t tell him anything but those 5 minute of talk were enough to get me going through anything.

What sort of parents you get is one of those things where you have no say at all! You just have to be lucky, and I am glad that me and my siblings had that wonderful luck at this very important thing of life! 

I am not sure if I am the son my father wanted me to be, but I am glad that I have him as a father on whom I can always count on (insert picture of Superman here!). I sometime however do not understand how he can hold this much compassion and sense of forgiveness for others in himself (not sure if I can ever develop something even close to that).

Once again thank you Pa for everything. We all love you and wish to thank you for everything you have done and continue to do everyday. It is a pity that I couldn’t spend this birthday with you as you are in USA (SKYPE should sponsor our family). 

Talk I had with him earlier today:

Me: Religiously speaking if someone dies at water, he/she is a martyr.
Pa: Yes.
Me: So if someone dies because of this horrible summer in Lahore, is he/she a martyr or an idiot?
Pa: *chuckles* perhaps half of both!

Thanks Pa :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

p.s. See you made me make a personal post on my blog!
p.s.s. I used to have this Chemistry teacher in high school who would just trash the hell out of me. She was like this hyper-active elder sister who just wanted you in particular to learn the whole Britannica. One day I said, Ma’am can I guess your birthday? She was like okay. I said 2nd of June. And she was like how did you find that out? Well because you are as hard on me as my father! 

Apologies for a week long hiatus from regular micro-blogging, I was showing off Pakistan. Things I have been able to share and probably even learn myself:

1. Pakistanis stare at you if you do not look South-Asian enough.
2. Tourist places will try to rip you off.
3. Souvenir shops often do not have a tag on their merchandise because they want to slap you one accordingly.
4. Women once in Pakistan get a lot of (unfair) advantage, only if you know how to use it (and yes in no sleazy way).
5. (quote) If you go past the regular news fed to you via your favourite news channel, Pakistan is a pretty safe place with very friendly people (quote).
6. Remember, point 1? To avoid this wear Shalwar Kameez (the traditional dress).
7. (quote) Pakistani food is great, but you guys eat too much meat and oily stuff. Which sort of explains the pot bellies and hair fall! (quote)
8. Not everyone loves or for that matter even likes Gol Gappay, Fruit Chatt, Kala Namak, Achar and Pan. Though I personally cannot understand a childhood without these things, but well…
9. Lahore’s traffic is horrendous, especially if you are stuck in rush hour on Multan Road.
10. No one but Allah manages the traffic in Lahore, traffic police is just there for decoration.
11. (quote) Lahore is HOT!(quote) And no this hotness has nothing to do with sexual appeal. 40 degree Celsius is too much for most of the Human beings.
12. (quote) Islamabad is not a city, it is just a giant park with various attractions. (quote)
13. Religion is up for sale and you can see that in action if you go up the right hand stairs to see alleged “holy relics” at Badshahi Mosque in Lahore.
14. Nothing is of good taste at Monal Restaurant on top of Daman-e-Koh in Margalla Hills. But it is okay, you waste your money on poor taste just for the view of Islamabad at night.
15. You cannot see the Parliament house or other buildings from outside, Government is scared of you - even if you are a tourist.
16. There is no shop in Pakistan which sells bombs for your everyday use.
17. People are driving around without tanks.
18. It always helps to know someone at the Airport who speeds up your immigration and customs exit.

Pretty interesting lessons in a week’s time. Overall a very fun one week (I took days off from work), will try to share some pictures in next few days.

In next 7 hours my flight for Glasgow is supposed to leave from Islamabad, and I have decided not to take it. I have already pushed it once but this time I think I am just letting it go. Since coming to Pakistan, I have taken a great job in Lahore which I really enjoy doing since I can feel the very impact the things I do can and probably will make. It is just wonderful when you are part of something which is far greater than yourself. However there are occasional moments of outbursts, especially on the general Pakistani disregard for the very basic thing called a queue! Honestly no other social disorder pisses me off this much!

This whole year has been weird. It has been literally marred with my repeated cancellations of travel plans. I was supposed to get to China but I couldn’t. I was suppose to get to Thailand but I couldn’t. I was supposed to get to Australia but I couldn’t. Now I am even skipping on Scotland (which I really miss to be honest). In April I am supposed to travel to Turkey and Cyprus for some official trip, but let’s say I am not going to talk about it until I am actually there. Note: I do need my annual trip.

Will be controlling myself not to go towards airport tonight. 

Apart from all this, earlier today my father made me read four news items from newspaper. I won’t make any commentary on these issues but I do hope that my fellow Pakistanis reading this post can give a few seconds to these topics before doing something else:

1. A Doctor couple arrested in Islamabad for illegal abortions of unmarried girls (charging them Rs 10,000) and in case of deliveries selling them off to people who wish to have children (Rs 40,000 in the case of sting operation). They were already under suspicion for three dead children found near the area of clinic in just last one month.
2. A couple was arrested in a hospital while trying to kidnap a 5 month old boy from a pediatric ward.
3. A 21 year old boy committed suicide by eating poison because he could not handle the fact that his mother has remarried, and then abandoned him and his younger brother.
4. A young newly married girl committed suicide by hanging because her husband wouldn’t let her go home until she was done with her graduating exams (she was married but still completing her university degree).

Apart from all this if you are in Pakistan and want to work on a social video project, get in touch (feel free to spread the word if you know someone else who might be interested). I am looking for old people (men and women) who are willing to share a joke or a small story they heard when they were young. I want them to tell me this in their mother tongue.