Life can be such a confusing creature. You always have to keep up with it. It is like as if in the times when there was no time, life and me had some serious beef.
Sometimes it feels as if life is like that gentle stream in which you can row for hours yet never get tired. But then suddenly without a warning it turns out to be this wild untamed horse in wide open planes of Deosai which you can not even touch.
Years back I read this Hadith which said that when end time of a man comes, he looks at his life and says, I was just a child moments back - how did I get this old? Or in more clearer terms, your very long life at the end will seem nothing more than just some moments spent. But it is only now when I have started to realize the level of savagery with which life is passing me by.
I do not want to stop and just cry a river about life, but yes with all the complaints against it, this does make me realize how insignificant I as a person am in this such an elaborate game. Though string theory does give me a hope that I am somewhere responsible for something larger in life, but truth of the matter is that I am not of pivotal importance in anything.
I personally have done many crazy things in my life (or maybe I like to believe so), and my philosophy behind most of them always was very simple, I can only die once, so why fear it?
If there was only a way where I could die and then be alive again on my own will (not even close to reincarnation theory, I will even hate such a proposition), I can perhaps take my revenge from life. But since I am sure I can never do that, I am once again surrendering myself to my life.
I just hope when it finally decides to leave me to myself I can make some good sense of it.
P.s. posting via cell phone, excuse my typos and other garbage.
- November 6
- , 2009
